By Okoroji Chidiebere Alexander
In a phenomenon country like Nigeria, the argument on sex and love has been tantamount to abuse and mischief. We believe to love but with the idea of no sex or, on a friendly approach without having flings on each other. A biblical love!
In Nigeria, we don’t define our relationship, we just assume that emotions and experience will lead the way. We have been so religious (fallaciously) that we foresee a relationship as a thing of assistance, or to avoid boredom. Some who tries to define a relationship before venturing are confused about what they want to achieve at the end of it. So so bad that you start wondering what’s love? What’s sex? Where is the connection?
There’s no long term relationship in whatsoever form that won’t lead to sex. No one! Love and sex goes hand in hand. We indulge in a relationship because we want to be in a sexual activities. There is no bigger truth than this.
In Nigeria, a boy woo a girl, with the intention that the girl comes for the money, which most a times are true, but with sex in mind while exchanging the thought of love with sex and money. You get confused on this very sentence; Okay let me elaborate, No guy want to spend on a girl who assumed to be in a relationship with him without him having sex in return. Sex is the end product of love for a guy.
A girl in Nigeria is in a relationship for all the worrisome reasons. Most of them are too confused and afraid that they find it difficult to stick for a long time or end up with the guy or with another guy. These and many are the reasons. A girl love is defined by physical attributes. Her love is contained by the thought that she will be giving out sex in return for love and money even those who will argue that they love you naturally without having money in mind, will end up with a thought that you are using her for nothing at the end. Nothing she mean is that, you don’t pay for her upkeep! Most girls are dependent on guys for their upkeep in return for love and in exchange for sex. Like she controls the sexual activities in the relationship in return for money, and the guy must be good looking and presentable. Her love is defined by looks and whatsoever on her selfish mind. Some doesn’t care, they end up with a sugar Daddy for the same reason for love and money. A single girl who is struggling and in a relationship, want to wear the best of the best— look so nice and be so expensive with a guy who has little or nothing. She ends up in so many relationship all at once. Most a times, their parents are in the village struggling to eat. Let’s be mindful and pursue this theory with the assumption that she is sexy. Sexy meaning attractive to sex. Not lovely!
Far away country like the US, they define their relationship, examine it and knows where it’s heading at. Some are into casual relationship, long distance relationship, intimate relationship etc. Some can be in that relationship in month and get married, others can stay for a longer period not exceeding a year or two etc. They know what they want in that relationship, the direction of the love and its purpose. Some of their girls are easily woo and in Nigeria term, easily deceived. Their boys are cheerful and lovely and some times, difficult, but not as mischievous as the Nigerian boys and girls. But in Nigeria, a girl who is transforming can’t even decide what she wants in a relationship either the boy. A girl whose age has come, prepare to marry any man presented to her not on the basis of love; but on the basis that the man is ready for marriage. The guy, after countless sexual excitement now want to marry a virgin or a girl whose times hasn’t come. A girl in her prime, whose ambitious is ahead of her. By record both the man and the woman are jealously guarding the so called love for no actual reason. We are too jealous for nothing in this country. The trend with stabbing a cheating husband! The ideology of love here is no longer in use or invoke.
Love and sex are two dynamic syndrome that has caused a lot of damage in the Nigeria climax. All we know of love here in this country are filled with hate and greed. What we breed on love are thoughts of fraud and mischief. No single person will ever love you for who you are or what your ideology are. On both gender. Everyone want to exploit a relationship which time is prime.
We can keep arguing or debating this fact, but relationship in Nigeria is no bed of roses.. They are expensive and deceitful. Venturing in a relationship means giving in all you have. Some guys are in for it for fun and mind game, some are in for it for plenty of sex, some are in for it pride and ego. Some are confusedly in it etc. Some girls are in for it for care or boredom, most are in for it for the money, some for handsome and cute guys, six packs excitement. Some are completely in for it for all the insane reasons etc. There is no serious relationship in Nigeria. We don’t take things seriously in this country, in fact the economy won’t allow you to. We just live by all the means and to survive whatever that comes. Relationship here is a troublesome thing, don’t even think of it, you might end up having cancer. Don’t take them seriously. We all are in love for one reason or the other. And truly not for the sake of love for which a relationship stand. Love and sex are how we see our relationship and on another view, we see it as a means of surviving and assistance, either in a mischievous manner, for deceit or personal gains. For whatever we breed in the name of love, sex is always the end product of it. A boyfriend/girlfriend in Nigeria is also known as Lovers. With this, you already have access to sex whether genuinely or not.